Do Tigers Hate Cinnamon?

  By Judge Frowning | May 16, 2013 - 21:45 |
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The Hangover

I’m watching The Hangover.

I’m at the scene where the guys are peppering a steak so that they can drug the tiger.

Zac Galifianakis has just said “Tigers love pepper; they hate cinnamon”.

And I wondered whether that had prompted people to fact-check this on Google.

So I fired up my web browser and into the Google toolbar I typed “do tigers hate” and sure enough, the top auto-complete suggestion was “Do Tigers Hate Cinnamon?”.

You just know, for a fact, that this auto-complete suggestion was created by the legions of people who’ve watched The Hangover.

I haven’t followed any of the links yet. I don’t have to. I’m already completed satisfied, just knowing that Google accurately predicted “cinnamon” would be the final word of my query string.

Thank you, Internet.

The Truth About Peas

  By Judge Frowning | May 7, 2013 - 22:14 |
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Finally, The Truth About Peas

I’ve been living at my boyfriend’s house for the past few weeks.

I just opened his freezer. I saw a bag of frozen peas. And I thought to myself “I love peas, but they contain too much sugar”.

And then I realized the truth. The sad, undeniable truth. I love peas because they contain too much sugar.

New Super Mario Bros. 2

  By Judge Frowning | May 5, 2013 - 12:08 |
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New Super Mario Bros. 2

I’m playing New Super Mario Bros. 2, for Nintendo’s 3DS. And it’s not entirely a bed of roses. It’s sometimes water and sometimes sand.

And that got me thinking about how I really don’t much care for underwater levels or sand levels. It’s all about the physics: there is more inertia under water, so collisions with irritating fish are more common. Not fun. And sinking into sand is not much fun, either.

And then I remembered ice levels, which I haven’t found in New Super Mario Bros. 2. Yet. It’s probably just a matter of time. They’ve got to be there, waiting for me. I don’t like ice levels any more than I like underwater levels or sand levels. Slipping off platforms and falling to my death is not fun. Is it fun for anyone?

Ice. Water. Sand. All unfun.

So I am … Continue reading →

Traditional Marriage And Institutionalized Bigotry

  By Judge Frowning | April 25, 2013 - 10:49 |
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Traditional Marriage and Entrenched Prejudice

Gay men and women have historically been denied the right to marry. “Traditional marriage”, we are repeatedly reminded, has always been between one man and one woman.

This says more about institutionalized bigotry, and the vulnerability of minorities, than it does about the qualities of gay people themselves.

The fact that societies have for centuries discriminated against gay men and women does not amount to a justification for perpetuating that discrimination.

Marriage Equality Versus Traditional Marriage

  By Judge Frowning | April 20, 2013 - 15:13 |
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There is unstoppable momentum behind proponents of gay marriage. Despite the demoralizing setbacks and uncertainty of the past decade, victory was always inevitable.

Supporters of marriage equality are fighting for the rights of people: gay men and women. Opponents are fighting for a concept: “traditional marriage”. Whatever that is.

The needs of real people will always prevail over the fight for ideas or principles that seek to suppress real people.

That, generally, has been the lesson of liberal democracies. Women won the right to vote. Black people won the right to be free, to vote, to ride the bus beside white people. And gay men and women will win the right to marry.

Heterosexual men and women who have gay friends and gay family members want their friends and families to enjoy all the joy that life can bring. That desire to ensure the happiness of loved ones will ensure … Continue reading →

Re-Kindling My Disapproval of Book Publishers

  By Judge Frowning | April 13, 2013 - 12:28 |
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I’m at Barnes & Noble.

Whenever I visit a Barnes & Noble, I look for copies of classic novels that are no longer copyright-protected. Novels like Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations or James Hardy’s Jude the Obscure.

I don’t look for these because I’m eager to buy them. I look for them so that I can disapprove of the outrageous prices publishers charge for these ancient texts. The authors’ estates get nothing from the sales of these books, so the publishers retain a larger cut of the cover price than they would from a sale of a modern best-seller like 50 Shades of Grey.

All of these old books should be cheaper than 50 Shades of Grey. But in many cases they’re not.

But I don’t get mad. I get even.

When I find a fun-looking, public domain text on the shelves at Barnes & Noble, I whip out my … Continue reading →